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Marquette IA, 52158

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Indexed Opinions of Totally Paul
Excerpt from In The Outs

Jennifer looked through her closet for something loose that would be easy to get off and slip back on. "I hate doctors. Especially new ones." She said to herself. "Ohh, I’ll be so glad when this afternoon is over."

She put on a comfortable cotton top and a pair of khaki shorts that used to be roomy. Now they seemed to be a perfect fit. She slid on her sandals and picked up her purse. "I hope I have everything because I have to go." She switched off the light in her bedroom and walked out to her car. The sun was shining and the day was warm and pleasant. She backed her car out of the garage and swung past Thomas’ car. The thought of Thomas brought a smile to her face.

The Beautiful Clinic was another modern brick building. A manicured lawn decorated with flowers and spruce trees surrounded it. The freshly blacktopped parking lot was clean. "Everything looks good," Jennifer said to herself. "Here we go." She stepped out of her car and started walking towards the doors.

A man on a motorcycle pulled in and drove into the parking space next to Jennifer’s car. The leather jacketed man pulled off a black helmet and Jennifer was surprised to see Thomas.

"Well hello Jennifer?" Thomas said with a smile. She stopped walking.

"Hi Thomas. I wasn’t expecting to see you here today." She smiled self-consciously, feeling like a schoolgirl.

Thomas smiled his easygoing smile as he clipped his helmet to the bike. "Normally I never go to the doctor. But it’s part of my contract." He sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

Jennifer raised her eyebrows. "Contract?"

"Yeah, umm something called appearance enhancement before the age of forty."

"You’re forty?" Jennifer smiled as Thomas walked up to her. "You seem much younger."

"Thanks." Thomas laughed. "That is a compliment, right?"

"Yes." Jennifer grinned. This might not be such a bad day after all.

"What are you here for?" Thomas asked as he put his hand on Jennifer’s shoulder. "Can I walk you in?"

A warm feeling from her shoulder radiated through her body. At once she felt relaxed and excited at the same time. She forced herself to carefully pull away from his hand, feeling embarrassed and guilty.

"Sure," she said. "Let’s walk in together." She smiled awkwardly at Thomas.

Thomas felt stupid for putting his hand on her shoulder. He didn’t know if he should apologize or not. It just felt natural to do so. It seemed that he and Jennifer were old friends, at least in his mind he felt that way.

"Well," Jennifer patted her tummy. "I’m here to meet my new doctor who will deliver my baby."

Thomas slapped his forehead. "Oh that’s right. I just don’t think of you as pregnant."

"Well, just how do you think of me?" Jennifer said playfully, then immediately regretted saying it.

"I don’t know." Thomas stammered. "Like a model, I guess."

The two walked into the reception area of the clinic and saw a nice looking woman sitting at a desk.

"What do you mean a model?" Jennifer turned to look at Thomas.

His face felt flush and he looked down at his feet. "Oh, I don’t know why I said that." Thomas muttered.
"You just look like an intelligent, capable woman." Thomas rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something else.

"Can I help you?" The woman at the desk interrupted.

Jennifer smiled at Thomas’ description. "Thank you Thomas." She said. "That means a lot to me."

The receptionist cleared her throat.

"Well," Jennifer said as she turned towards the desk. "I am Jennifer Voshell. I am here for my appointment with my new doctor, Dr. Snitker."

Thomas raised his eyebrows at the name.

"Right," The woman said as she looked down at a folder. "I have a few things you need to fill out Ms. Voshell." She handed Jennifer a clipboard and a pen. "You can have a seat and fill these out, and we’ll get you in as soon as we can." She forced a smile.

"And I’m here for my appearance enhancement thingy." Thomas said. "I’m Thomas Vance, from the Express."

"Oh, yes." The woman brightened when she talked to Thomas. "I have a questionnaire for you too." She handed him another clipboard and pen. "And when you’re finished with that we’ll get you to your doctor right away."

"Thank you," Thomas said as he took a seat next to Jennifer.

"So Thomas," Jennifer whispered, "Just what is this appearance enhancement stuff all about?"

"The paper I guess." Thomas whispered back. Jennifer leaned close so she could hear. Thomas could smell her hair. The fragrance was very appealing. "They want all their workers to look their best so I have to see if they can medically do anything to improve me." He rolled his eyes.

Jennifer started laughing and put her hand to her face. "Like what? Hair implants?"

"Wait, you think I need something done with my balding head?" Thomas said. "You mean my toupee hasn’t fooled you. With a look of horror he put both of his hands over his head. "Oh, how did you know?"

Jennifer snickered loudly into her hand. "Don’t." She said breathlessly. "Don’t make me laugh. I’ve got to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah me too." Thomas said with a serious look. "But I wanted to hold it in case they needed a sample."

Jennifer erupted into laughter again. Finally she was able to get out. "Me too." Then she and Thomas both began laughing.

A nurse appeared at the door and cleared her throat. "I’m sorry," Jennifer said. Her face was red and she wiped tears from her eyes. "He just keeps making me laugh."

"I think it’s her condition." Thomas volunteered. "Her hormones are a little whacky. I’ll try and keep her quiet."

Jennifer started laughing and put her head down. "Would you please quit." She said. "We have to be serious now."

The nurse walked back through the door and Thomas didn’t dare look at Jennifer for fear of making her laugh. "I’m sorry, Jennifer."

"Oh this is the most fun I’ve had since…" Jennifer’s face grew taught. She almost said it was the most fun she’d had since she was married.

"I sometimes have this affect on people." Thomas said. "I tend to bring out their silly side. It’s a gift, really."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes. "Why on earth would they want to change your appearance, Thomas?" Jennifer asked as she watched him fill out his questionnaire. You look perfectly handsome to me."

"Why thank you Jennifer." Thomas said. "That’s very gracious of you."

"No I mean it, Thomas. I hope I look as good as you."

"When you’re my age?"

"Exactly." Jennifer’s eyes danced with mischief.

Thomas chuckled. "Okay, okay. I deserved that."

Jennifer put her hand on Thomas’ arm. "No really, I am serious. You are a handsome man, in more ways than just your appearance. I want you to know I think very highly of you."

Thomas looked at Jennifer’s eyes and felt like he would lose himself. It was all he could do to not reach out and pull her close. He felt an overwhelming compulsion to be with this woman. And he now knew it was dangerous for him to even talk to her.

"I think very highly of you too Jennifer." Thomas looked away. "But I better get this filled before that sadistic nurse comes back."

Jennifer chuckled and pushed the loose strands of her hair away from her eyes. Thomas, she said to herself. Thomas, I could fall in love so easy with a man like you. Suddenly the reality of where and who she was came back.

Jennifer sighed deeply and looked at the paper in the clipboard. "Just don’t ever leave town without telling me." She said. It was such a quiet whisper she didn’t think he would here.

"And don’t you go without telling me." Thomas whispered back.

The nurse reappeared in the doorway. "Mr. Vance?" She announced.

"Ready." Thomas jumped to his feet. He dropped the pen at Jennifer’s feet. "I’m leaving but not for good." He whispered as bent down for the pen.

Jennifer smiled to herself and watched this mysterious man who was so kind and who could make her laugh so easily disappear through the door. She looked down at the form and saw the space asking for the spouse’s name. A pain stabbed her heart.

"How do you do, Mr. Vance." The nurse said as she held out her hand. "I can take your jacket if you want to step up on the scale please."

"Going to see if I weigh what I’m supposed to?" Thomas asked as the nurse measured his height.

"Exactly." She said as she wrote numbers down on a chart. She looked up at Thomas and smiled. "Not too bad. In the upper range, but not too bad."

"Phew! You had me worried," Thomas said as he walked down the hallway. "Of course I weigh less without these shoes you know. They’re very heavy shoes."

"Of course." The nurse led him into a small room. "Have a seat and we’ll get your blood pressure and pulse."

"I hate that," Thomas said as he sat down with a frown. "Did I mention how heavy my shoes are?"

The nurse smiled and wrapped a cuff around his arm. "Funny how heavy those shoes get in here, isn’t it?" She said as she squeezed the rubber bulb, tightening the cuff.

"You know how tight that thing is?" Thomas asked her as he grimaced.

"Sh!"

Thomas stared at the ceiling. There was a poster on the ceiling of good-looking kids. The caption read, ‘the beautiful people’.

"Ow!" Thomas said as the nurse noisily pulled off the cuff. "Just kidding." He added quickly when she shot him a stern look.

"What is it with you, Mr. Vance?" She asked him. "Are you always like this?"

"I guess I’m a little, oh, on edge you might say."

"And why is that?" The nurse said as she took his pulse.

"Oh," Thomas said as he looked up at the poster again. "I might be getting myself into a predicament with a woman."

"Oh is that all. Don’t worry about it. There’s lots of women around you know." She winked at Thomas. "Some of us are even available."

Thomas looked at the woman with a look of shock.

"I need to take some pictures. Strip to your underwear, please." She said sounding bored. "I’m going to get the camera and I’ll be right back."

"Why the pictures?" Thomas asked.

"We put them on a computer program and have them analyzed."

"Oh, is that all. Thought maybe you’d send them to some porn magazine or something."

The nurse snickered. "Well, maybe in your case." She said as she walked out the door. "Now strip!"

"What are you doing Vance?" Thomas asked himself as he pulled off his tie and shirt. "Get hold of yourself."

He bent down and untied his shoes and stood up to unbuckle his belt. "Man! This is so weird."